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With every hospital filled with hundreds of patients, has anyone ever thought about the thousands there just to be with the patient? Someone crying and praying outside the operation theatre and someone rushing to the pharmacy to get medicines for his mother, has anyone ever lend a thought to these people? They go through hell too. They go through physical pain and mental torture. Isn’t seeing someone you dearly love, fighting for life, torture enough? How to cope when your loved ones are ill? Is there a way to cope up with it? There has to be.
The feeling of someone slipping away from your hand is a feeling I wish upon nobody. Seeing someone you dearly love, falling sick and fading away into eternity is something you can never prepare yourself for. People who we spend our lives with, and who we spend our lives for, suddenly decide to fall into a serious illness and decide to leave us all on our own. People we made plans with, forget all the plans and suddenly make plans of their own.
No one can imagine the pain of a mother seeing her child hooked to machines to stay alive. Nothing compares to the pain of a little kid whose mother is in the hospital and he is afraid to sleep alone at night. Or the tensions of a son whose father is fighting for life. Nothing comes near to the worries of a woman with an ill husband. All looking for something to grasp on. All crying and praying to god for a miracle. A salute to all these soldiers who have stayed strong. They have put their life aside and have lived for the ones they love. To cope when your loved one is ill is inevitable, so why don’t do it in a better way.
How To Cope When Your Loved One Is Ill?
The news of a dear one getting sick and fighting for their life comes like a crash. A crash that hits so hard that you feel like burying yourself under the ground. Once a happy home turns into a room of depression, cries, and wails. But one good thing remains, HOPE. Hope always stays, maybe this is because you don’t want to accept the reality or maybe you still see a chance. It is the last straw and you should hold on to it, the moment hope slips away everything will fall apart. And this everything includes you too.
Everyone experiences traumas like these. Some stay to see happy days and some lose what they have been fighting for. That’s life. It is out of control and out of reach. But there are ways through which you can at least try to make it better. Just like most of you I have been through a situation like this, that too at a very young age. Here are all the things I wish I knew before.
Control. The most out of reach thing right now, Right? Only if you had control, things would have happened in a different way. Even though you can’t take control over life but you can take control over decisions. Don’t lose yourself. Take control over what you are going to wear, what groceries you are going to buy, and what drama you are going to watch. This might seem impossible but you need to give yourself an initial push. This will give your life a hint of normalcy.
Stay connected with not only the patient but yourself and other people around you too. Try to stay connected to your surroundings, to your soul, and to your mind. You should also stay connected with doctors and people looking after the patient. This will help you live in the reality.
More often than not we exaggerate the dark situations. Staying connected to everything might help in seeing the reality which might not be as dark as you are perceiving it to be.
Unfortunately, in Pakistan, we do not have support groups for people in need of help. But just because we never had them before, doesn’t mean we can’t have them now. Create a support group, on your phone, in your house, or anywhere you want. You can talk to people going through the same thing on the Marham Facebook group. Talking to people that are going through the same thing as you, will keep your mind calm.
Go and talk to anyone, let it all out. You can seek help from a professional too, so consult a psychologist now.
Stop! Take a deep breath and focus on what you are doing. If you are always in a rush so you can get back to the patient quickly, you are deteriorating your own health. And your health is as important as anybody else’s. Focus and take your time in what you are doing. If you are unable to do simple tasks like cooking or driving, it is an indication that you are not in the right mental state. Focusing on your daily tasks will help you gain control over your actions and have a life outside the hospital room.
Hold On To Hope
Hope is the pinnacle of all things you shouldn’t let go of. Hope will keep you sane and alive. It will not only help you, but the patients as well. Your hopeful attitude will give the patient something to live for. Truth be told, hope is the only thing that you can hold on to. What is to come is inevitable and you can not ruin your life before anything actually happens.
The thing about time is that it passes, the good time passes, and the bad time passes too. If your prayers get answered and you take your loved one home with smiles and tears of joy, you too will advise others to hold on to hope. God forbid if you lose your most loved to the inevitable, still hold on to hope. Time doesn’t stop, but it heals. It promises better days, your life might not be the same but everything is not lost. But why worry about something that hasn’t happened yet and hopefully will never happen.
So chin up buddy, wipe away those tears, and smile. We all are in this together. You will find a way to cope if your loved one is ill and if you fail to do so yourself we have the best psychologists to the rescue.
Book an appointment now, to answer all your queries. You can book an appointment with top psychologists in Pakistan through Marham by calling at Marham helpline: 0311-1222398 or by online appointment booking facility through the website or Marham mobile app.
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