Talk to Psychiatry on Dont Know Suicide Maybe

i am in living hell, Bipolar diagnosed officially 2 years back, severe family issues, emptiness, broken totally every aspect of life is ended no reason to live anymore, don't remember when i smile or laugh last time, 3 attempts done third may be the final don't know who to talk alcohol drugs drugs tried every thing, mind is full of shit, anger issues, chronic depression anxiety trust issues social boycott no friends no one to talk to not married though thank God, living in my room only for last 2 months and family is totally ignorant of all, they hurt me and i hurt back they made me whoever i become today, they are all _________ my mother sisters are all selfish ignorant and manipulators gas lighters ruined my whole life played me all along i am all alone, for 15 years almost when my father died of cancer, now i want or need to meet him asap is that ok if i take this decision on my own no one will cry or care for me anymore i am prepared to end it asap, some time i speak to myself and my father too. . he is not happy. . just sharing beware of house dogs don't ever fool yourself in relation or gender or age whoever they will bite in the end very bad. thanks and good bye.