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Asking For Self, Male, 30 Years old, lahore
I am addicted to porn and masturbation since 7 years, got married and divorced after 3 months (reason for divorce was something else) , I have extremely strong sex drive, I get very frequent errections during day and regularly at night and every time I get it a white fluid releases from my p**is and I go unclean (na Pak) , I want to offer prayers and read Quran but I am na Pak most of the time, during my brief wedding I had extremely weird and strange sexual experiences that I seriously need to talk about, this stuff has seriously messed up my mind, social and religious life ,,, I am a religious sort of person to some extent but my drive and this na paki issue hampers every thing (I feel so helpless ),,sexual health wise I am good , I am 5,11 , 79 kg , 18%BF approx , I exercise regularly and follow a good diet and yea I have tried all that stuff of not being alone, socialising ,working out , diverting mind , channelling thoughts etc etc ,,,,, this thing is serious, I just want to get t
Thanks my suggestion is to get married nd keep your self busy nd see some psychiatrist for your problem
Patient
Post Owner
I JUST WANT TO GET TO NORMALCY, and get rid of the false picture of sex and pleasure from my mind,,. (Adding further)
I masturbate and after 5 minutes , I do it again , and then again after 5 minutes and I will again be having erections the next day , to avoid it I try to clear my mind but all in vain , I again get erection resulting in release of a little fluid and I am unclean (na Pak) during my brief wedding I had sex like a crazy person,too much frequency and intensity (I myself don’t know how but I am thankful to Allah for being healthy),,but the strange thing is "I WAS NEVER SATISFIED EMOTIONALLY" I know I need to see a urologist too but first I need to set my mind right ,,[i am extremely sorry, it is sounding extremely awkward at this respectable forum but that’s the truth] I was extremely messed up after my divorce and related matters but consulted a friend pshycologist and got better but I had extremely weird experience during pre and post wedding that I can’t discuss with him ,,,,, I am so god damn messed up
There is something behind in your issue. Have Sexual desire is okay but when the person addict like regular basis it's not okay. Consult the Psychologist & take therapy for it. InshaAllah you will be fine soon.
Patient
Post Owner
Thanks for the support and your opinion madam, I posted this to look for the right person/doctor who can help me get out of it , I want to be a better person and get rid of this stuff
4 years ago
Porn:
Porn is addictive. There is a well known type of learning which is observational Learning and there are mirror neuron. When you watch porn , mirror neuron gives same arrousal as if you are in a sex. These neurons activates. And you will go into the same cycle of sex lubrication, arrousal, fully arroused then orgasm, and after orgasm going back to normal state. In normal state you feel like oh shit i have done some horrible, i have done wrong , oh i must not watch porn again etc.
Watching porn is equal to be in a sex. Because porn gives same sex cycle as in physical intercourse. Biological Watching porn is like having sex with someone. biological for unmarried person watching porn is like committing illicit sex. So it is same sin as having sex with someone....
Another thing I mentioned is observational Learning. When someone watches porn, he/ she will start to believe that sex should be the way as depicted in these videos. Every time he/she watches porn ,this belief will get stronger and stronger. Porn is not normal sexual behaviour. In porn paid actors are instructed to do extremes. Like a normal film ,there is a director and a script in porn filmography. Porn teaches you false expectations of sex. When porn user gets married, he/she will expect same extremes from his/her partner. When those expectations will not fullfil, here starts the frustration,anger,fights between the couple and things go to so much extreme that they either remain unhappy, sad, depressed or they go for divorce or they go for extra marital affairs. Some self proclaimed genius couple go for sexual products to meet there Expectations. Like they will buy Viagra, Cialis, sprays, pills. Porn ultimate goal is letting you buy there sexual products.
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Masturbation
Boredom+passiveness
Sadnesses+low self esteem+(Depression)
No proper sex education+exposure to porn
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All above factors lead to masturbation. As it provides temporary relief. Then automatically you learn a behaviour of masturbation to do it again and again whenever you feel bored and passive ; depressed and sad. As you never have proper sex education , thats the reason you keep watching porn not knowing that porn itself is addictive. So you keep doing it in stressful days.
For treatment a psychologist has to see all contributing and maintaining factors of masturbation. A psychologist tires to work on each factor one by one in each session. In this way psychologist progressively treats masturbation.
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For psychologist like me has to go all factors. Your false learning of sexual behaviour, your false expectations and some consistent sessions are needed.
Patient
Post Owner
Thanks a lot for your time brother ,,but with due respect most of this is info that I have already googled, and I some how knew it , as em trying to address this problem since long ,,,,,,,anyway I don’t know what’s up next ,,,,, just trying to find way out of it
4 years ago
BS , MPhil (Applied Psychology) | Bahawalpur | Book Appointment
60 Positive Reviews
It is normal for us to hear things like that like you said, like you think i just made up all things and put it down here. We are psychologists and our job is to give honest opinion and our thoughts about the issues of client. I respect your indirect disgrace and insult for me. These are my own thoughts. Google my Marh profile you will see the comment in my previous posts. I copied my own thoughts from the previous post and put it down here. We are really bussy. For own ease we do that. This comment is not plagiarized from anywhere else. In fact this is my experience with patients. I said it for your easy. Dear answer me following questions
1. Its been 7 years, and you are not able to break that habit. Do you still believe it is as simple thing as it looks.
2. Masturbation involves lot of things and lot of factors. Dear if it were simple behaviour then it must have been stopped in few days. But it will not. It is still there. Dear be serious.
3. Do you think porn is just watching or entertainment. It is like addiction.
It is highly complex thing. For treatment i have to see all factors. It requires more than 20 sessions to completely get normal healthy and happy. I was telling you porn is same as having sex or zinna, my purpose was to give you new insights. I don't think anybody else have done this job on so called google. No one ever has described it in clear terms as i did. I gave you Physiology of porn, i gave you neuroscience behind this addictive behaviour. I gave you behaviour Psychology perspective and i also mentioned Islmaic point of view. My aim was never to discourage you my aim was to tell you everything which i know so you can know what to do next. So dear dont disgrace anyone else effort, you never know the heart only Allah do. My purpose was to help you.
God bless you.
4 years ago
Patient
Post Owner
Sir I am extremely sorry if my comments hurt your sentiments, but I absolutely didn’t mean it ,I apologise again , thanks for the effort you have put in in helping me , JazakAllah
4 years ago
H, Look for support groups online it will help you an idea of the struggle your in and get into therpay to explore your obsessive compulsive need for porn and masrarbuation www.pornaddictsanonymous.org
www.slaafws.org
Member
Khan Khan
find a partner that fullfill all ur desires... soon you will be relaxed once all ur sexual satisfactions are addressed by ur partner..
u should consult a qualified clinical psychologist . your problem is dangerous for your mental health so don't delay to get appointment. this issue can be resolved within few sessions. so first confidently go for consultantion
may Allah bless you
Patient
Post Owner
Thanks a lot for guidance and helping madam, I am quite busy, I have a full time job and I was married too in the past but it didn’t solve the problem ,,, and I am looking for a good psychologist/psychiatrist
4 years ago