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Asking for Wife, Female, 23 years old, Lahore
Assalam o Alikum, I got married about 2 to 3 months before, my wife is so afraid at bed, whenever we try to make it she starts shivering and crying in fear of pain and situation becomes so uncomfortable. Our marraige life is so disturbed.Please advise if she needs some kind of medication to calm her down or counselling or is it some sexual disorder??
no it is not sexual disorder but it could be just a fear which can be treated through counselling
yes she need therapeutic sessions, u can visit my place or any other clinical psychologist.
She may require counselling to understand what causes her fear and discomfort. You should take her to a therapist for a few sessions. Hopefully that'll improve the situation.
This issue is seen sometimes, few ladies have phobia of pain etc. They need to be counselled by an expert. Also, her mother / sister and you yourself should talk to her. Let make her friend first and convince her. Also, prepare her / seduce her by touching few parts of her body which whelps her to get hot or ready for sex. No medication is still required. There should be proper evaluation. she may have another disorder. For further guidance contact marham.pk
No its not a disorder.
You need to understand that sex is considered a taboo in the society we live in , so its not discussed openly.
1st you need to discuss with her and make her comfortable for the deed.
There is no need to rush. It is entirely a mutual thing and you n yr wife must be both ready for it.
Ask her if she needs some guidance from her mom or sis. Allow her to be comfortable with living with you 1st and them proceed towards more intimate things like sex.
Dear. It is important to know the root cause of her fear. Overtly it looks like she is afraid of sexual intercourse. But why does she assume sexual intercourse as horrible,terrific thing that has led her to shivering or panicking. So we need to look for the Reasons of her fear. She must have developed some vague ideas about sexual intercourse. She need to be guided. She needs your support first. Just Relax yourself first. Then try to calm her, try to comfort her. Befriend her. Don't force her into sexual intercourse. Forcing her may cause disturbace.
Systematically her fear can be eliminated. Do following steps.
1. Relax her by breathing technique.
(i) let her inhale slowly and exhale slowly.
2. Use Deep Muscle Relaxation Technique.
(i) google this technique. Its available.
3. Use Visualization technique to let her imagine that sexual activity is the most benovalent thing to human kind.
4. In Visualization step you have to viualize sexual intercourse in a clearity. Like romantic secen of movie.
5. Use step 1,2,3 daily for atleast a week.
6. In second week use all previous steps and after relaxing visualizing add one thing which is " let her watch a DVD of sexual intercourse".
7. Use this routine for a week.
8. At end of second week let her to explore you nd br romantic.
9. In third week use breathing technique and be romantic physically.
10. By third week her fear has gone and she will start to be intimate witu you. When she ia fully relaxed and you can see that by her facial expressions. You can have physical intercourse.
Member
Fidak Zahra
This problem is something like phobia. First we have to determine the cause behind this. I.e u need to talk about the issue in very empathic way not being angry and loud. Then further u can lessen the fear gradually. U can use imagination technique for this.i.e ask her to imagin the least to most fear causing thing about sex.but gradually. Before this use relaxation techniques.
Regards.
Hello
Sexual pain is common but some women do experience it intense than others. I suggest you to seek help from a therapeutic session for your wife about how to feel relax may be there are some unpleasant associations that are causing fear and anxiety ...
https://www.facebook.com/peculiarcoach/
well
she is fearful thats clear
let her talk to someone who can relate to it and will probably talk about sex easily
i can help her out
Salam She need to be assessed before making.any suggesion
book an appointment and take sessions
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