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Facing emotional dependencies on others? Do you know one of the most attractive things about having relationships is emotional support? When you are facing life challenges or stress, your loved ones can offer empathy and comfort by listening to all your concerns and validating your feelings. In a romantic relationship, you may seek this support first from your partner.
It’s natural to seek emotional support and guidance from partners, especially in long-term relationships. Emotional dependence, on the other hand, goes beyond the point of support. Most romantic partners rely on one another to some degree.
However, if you rely on your partner to meet all of your emotional needs, you’re probably not doing much on your own to meet those needs. This complete reliance on another person can have a negative impact on your relationship and overall well-being. So, will we conclude that emotional dependence is either a good or a bad thing? You can get the idea from the content below.
How do Emotional Dependencies look like?
Let us first define emotional dependency in order to fully comprehend whether it is good or bad. It can be useful to consider emotional dependence as a spectrum. On one end, there is emotional independence. Individuals who are completely self-sufficient may reject all emotional support, preferring to deal with their emotional needs on their own, or even ignoring them entirely.
Interdependent relationships, the healthiest type of relationship, are located in the center. Interdependence implies that you can recognize your own emotional needs and work to meet many of them. When you are unable to meet them on your own, you may seek the assistance of your partner.
In other words, you rely on them for some, but not all, of your emotional needs. On the other hand, there is emotional dependence. Other key indicators of emotional dependence are:
- An idealized fantasy of your partner or the relationship
- The belief that you can’t find happiness or security on your own
- A persistent fear of rejection
- The constant need for reassurance
- The belief that your life lacks meaning without them
- Feelings of incompleteness and anxiety when spending time alone
Dependence vs. Codependence
If you’re familiar with codependence, you’ll notice some similarities, but there are some differences. Codependence occurs when you neglect your own needs in order to meet the needs of a loved one. If you ignore your own emotional needs in order to prioritize your partner’s emotions, you may be experiencing emotional dependence.
Effects of Emotional Dependencies
Having difficulty of dealing with your own emotional needs may have an important effect on your romantic relationships. But the effects may bother your other areas of life.
1. Relationship problems
Emotional dependencies, for the most part, does not pave the way for healthy relationships. Emotionally dependent people frequently require a great deal of reassurance and support from their partners. If you frequently feel insecure or self-doubt, you may require their approval to feel good about yourself.
This need can cause anxiety about what will happen if they leave or stop providing the reassurance you require.
These abandonment fears can lead to attempts to control their behavior in order to keep them. Trying to control people, on the other hand, usually backfires.
People who feel manipulated and donnot take their own decisions may wish to end the relationship. With emotional dependence, a pattern of failed relationships is fairly common.
2. Stress
Dependence in relationships is frequently accompanied by some level of emotional distress. Constant, low-level anxiety about the future of your relationship and your partner’s feelings for you can cause you to feel anxious and uneasy.
When you’re not together, you might spend the majority of your time wondering what they’re up to and whether they still love you. This fixation can cause a significant increase in your baseline stress level. Stress can have an impact on how you feel and express your emotions. You may have noticed:
- Abrupt mood changes
- Persistent low mood or depression
- Outbursts of sadness or anger, including crying or shouting
- Physical expressions of your feelings which means violence
- Somatic symptoms, such as muscle tension, headaches, or stomach distress
3. Poor Self-care
If you depend only on your partner for emotional support, you will miss out on learning how to provide that support to yourself. It’s really unwell to have expectation for someone else to meet all of your needs all of the time. It’s critical to have a few coping tools on hand that you know you can rely on when others are unavailable.
Furthermore, the emotional distress you feel when they are unable to meet your needs can easily take up all your mental space. This makes you weak with little capacity for enjoyable activities or spend time with your loved ones. these are the things that will allow you to tend to your own emotional needs. Learn more about this from the session of a psychiatrist.
Ways to Deal with Toxic Emotional Dependencies
We will say that it is up to you to determine how you are making emotional dependency a toxic thing for you. Let’s look at some ways to deal with emotional dependency if you’re having trouble.
1. Get more Comfortable with your Emotions
The first step toward meeting emotional needs is to learn to recognize your emotions as they occur. It’s fine if this proves difficult at first. It’s normal to struggle with unpleasant emotions. It may be helpful to remember that life has both ups and downs.
How could you recognize the good if you didn’t have the bad? Emotions that you perceive as negative are just as important as those that you perceive as positive. They will help you to recognize when things aren’t quite right. You may take some help from a therapist. Try these exercises to learn more about yourself and your emotions:
- Meditation
- Spending time outside in nature
- Spending alone time
2. Take charge of your Emotional needs
What can you do now that you know more about your emotional mindset. Assume you believe your partner has been unfaithful to you. You are feeling envious, lonely, or unloved. However, rather than seeking reassurance, consider the situation from a different perspective. You can help meet your own reassurance and security needs in this way.
- Try focusing on what you’re enjoying right now by:
- Spending time with friends outside of the relationship
- Pursuing interests
- Making time to relax
- Self-care
3. Explore your Triggers
You may notice that certain triggers emotionally dependent behaviors. For example, you may find yourself seeking reassurance the most when dealing with external sources of stress, such as work problems or friend drama.
Identifying specific triggers may help you to explore coping methods, such as talking with a friend about your feelings. Also use positive self-talk to remind yourself of your strengths and successes.
4. Talk to a Therapist
Working with a trusted therapist can be extremely beneficial when it comes to identifying and breaking patterns.
Emotional dependencies are frequently traced back to childhood. Lack of a secure attachment to your parent or primary caregiver can lead to attachment issues in adult relationships. Some attachment styles can contribute to emotional dependence.
This can make overcoming emotionally dependent behaviors on your own somewhat difficult. A therapist can assist you in exploring issues from your past that contribute to current relationship concerns, as well as navigating healthier ways of meeting emotional needs.
Dealing with Emotional Dependencies for a Partner
It can be exhausting to have an emotionally dependent partner. You want to support them and be there for them, but there’s only so much you can do. In the end , you can not fix the problem on your own, but there are a few things you can do to assist while also protecting your own emotional needs. Here are some points to consider:
- Establish boundaries
- Request what you require
- Seek help together
Final Notes
Emotionally dependent behaviors develop over time. So you probably won’t improve them overnight. While it’s important to take steps to address emotional dependence, it’s also important to have patience and compassion for yourself or your partner.
We would say that having emotional attachment is a bit important but if it is becoming dependency then tis is not really good. Moreover, you should contact a consultant for dealing with toxicity because of emotional dependencies in a relationship.
Book an appointment now, to answer all your queries. You can book an appointment with the top Psychiatrists in Pakistan through Marham by calling at Marham helpline: 0311-1222398 or by online booking facility through the website or Marham mobile app.
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FAQ’s
Is it bad to be emotionally dependent?
Emotional Dependency is a terrible state to be in because it prevents you from feeling content, happy, or satisfied without the approval of another person.
Is it bad to be dependent in a relationship?
Dependency is often regarded as a negative characteristic in a relationship. If the question bothers us, it may indicate ambivalence about closeness to others, which implies shared empathy and intimacy, as well as investment in others, which implies vulnerability.
What exactly is a healthy emotional dependency?
Expressing a need necessitates some vulnerability because it implies that you lack something or require assistance that your partner can provide. That vulnerability fosters intimacy, and the sense of being needed contributes to your partner’s sense of security in the relationship.
What exactly is an unhealthy dependence?
To avoid the feeling of abandonment, the co-dependent will go to any length to maintain a relationship. A strong desire for approval and recognition. When asserting themselves, they feel guilty. A strong desire to exert control over others.
What constitutes a healthy level of reliance in a relationship?
Healthy dependency, also known as interdependence, entails mutual give and take; both people give and receive support, encouragement, practical assistance, and so on.
