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It is not easy to leave an abusive relationship; you cannot simply walk away and never look back. You may go through a series of emotions before you leave an abusive relationship, including self-blame, confusion, fear, and uncertainty. If you’re going through this challenging phase, this article can help you get out of it.
What is Abuse?
According to The Gale Encyclopedia of Medicine, ‘Abuse is defined as any action that intentionally harms or injures another person. Domestic violence is a form of abuse that knows no bounds. It happens to people of all sexes, ages, sexual orientations, races, and socioeconomic backgrounds. You can be subjected to different kinds of abuse, including:
- a physical assault
- mental abuse
- rape/sexual assault
- verbal abuse
- elder abuse
- financial abuse
- emotional abuse
Suppose you believe that you are being abused or were abused in the past and live in fear. Then, it is highly recommended that you report it or talk to a psychologist about it. You can easily book an appointment or online consultation with the Best Psychologists in Pakistan right now.
How can I Tell if my Abuser Will Change?
“All too often, we believe it is a sign of commitment, an expression of love, to endure unkindness or cruelty, to forgive and forget. In actuality, when we love rightly, we know that the healthy, loving response to cruelty and abuse is putting ourselves out of harm’s way.”
― Bell Hooks, All About Love
In many cases, the abuser asks for forgiveness and promises to change after their outbursts, and most believe them. There is no doubt that people can change, and their past should not be used to judge them. However, it is crucial to notice when their apologies and promises mean nothing and are just a trap for you to stay with them. An abuser who probably doesn’t want to change can be identified through the following signs:
- They blame you or others for their outrage
- Doesn’t accept what their doing is physical or emotional abuse
- Has asked for forgiveness multiple times but never change their behavior
- Forces you to stay with them and support them
- Tries to blame you when you tell others
- Blackmails or threats you often
- Is not willing to get psychological help
- Manipulates you into thinking you are the problem
- Doesn’t let you talk to your family or friends
If your abuser shows any of these signs, it is highly likely that they don’t want to change. In this case, you must give your safety the top priority.
Who can I talk to about leaving an abusive relationship?
You might feel isolated but you should never give up hope because many people can help you to safely leave an abusive relationship. However, if your violent partner finds you’re thinking about leaving, it could be dangerous. Only speak with anyone who will not inform the abuser about your plans. You can contact the following people for help:
1. Family or Friends
The first thing you can do is talk to a family member or friend; they must be someone you can trust with this sensitive information. Let them know you’re quitting your relationship and need emotional support, even if you don’t want to tell them about the abuse.
Tell them when and where you’ll be ending your relationship, and ask them to come for help in case of any difficulty. If the abuser is your spouse and you live alone, you should ask some trusted people to be present when you tell them you’re leaving for your safety.
2. A Counselor or Therapist
When you can not trust anyone from your family or friends, talking to a counselor or therapist is highly recommended because sometimes it is easier to tell a stranger. If your abuser has restricted you from leaving the house, you have the facility to contact a Psychologist Online from anywhere in Pakistan.
3. Call a Helpline
‘Every woman/girl has the right to live her life safely and free of violence. Help us end violence against women and girls with our national 1099 helpline app.’ -Ministry of Human Rights, Pakistan.
The Ministry of Human Rights in Pakistan announced that they have created a national helpline for women in danger. If you think the situation can get violent and your life is at stake, you must call on a helpline.
Figure out Your Safety Plan
Even if you don’t leave right away, having a safety plan in place will help you know what to do if your abuser continues to harm you. You can take the following safety measures:
- Find a neighbor, friend, relative, coworker, or shelter to go to if you need to leave the house right away for safety reasons
- Make a strategy for how you’ll safely escape the house and how you’ll travel to your safe place
- Try to keep essential items such as identification documents, a phone, money, medicines, and clothing on hand, as well as a list of emergency phone contacts
- Ask your friends and family to keep a check on you
It’s never simple to end a significant relationship, and it is considerably more difficult when you’ve been separated from your family and friends, have been psychologically abused, financially manipulated, and physically threatened. However, must leave an abusive relationship when you’re life is at stake. There are many ways to do this, including getting help from friends, family, shelters, or calling on a helpline.
1. What are some effects of abuse?
Victims of abuse may suffer from feelings of isolation, anxiety, and mistrust, leading to long-term psychological effects such as low self-esteem, depression, and difficulty developing and maintaining relationships.
2. How do I complain about domestic violence in Pakistan?
You can report your domestic violence complaint by dialing 1099 or downloading the Human Rights Ministry’s newly released app, Helpline 1099.
3. What is emotional abuse?
Psychological abuse or emotional abuse is when someone subjects or exposes another person to behavior that causes psychological trauma, such as anxiety, chronic depression, or PTSD.
Book an appointment now, to answer all your queries. You can book an appointment with the top psychologists in Pakistan through Marham by calling at Marham helpline: 0311-1222398 or by online booking facility through the website or Marham mobile app.
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