Creativity. Spontaneity. Forgetfulness. Although these symptoms cause many disruptions in a person with ADHD’s everyday life, they can significantly impact their closest relationships. People with ADHD and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder can lead normal lives but struggle a lot. However, this does not mean that they cannot lead successful lives; instead, they only require support in a few areas. This is quite true for those who have undiagnosed ADHD.
What is ADHD?
ADHD, called attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, is a neurodevelopmental disorder in childhood that can move into adulthood. Children with ADHD may have difficulty controlling impulsive urges, paying attention, focusing, and being overactive. Adults show distinct symptoms.
Symptoms of ADHD
It is quite normal for children to have concentration and focus issues, but if these issues prevail into adulthood, it can cause such children to have ADHD. Read here about the signs of a child with ADHD.
A person with ADHD can have the following symptoms:
- squirming and fidgeting
- talking excessively
- making silly and careless mistakes too often
- have a hard time resisting urges
- find it difficult to get along with others
Effects of ADHD
ADHD is different for each individual. Despite having a diagnosis, they may not be in treatment or maybe in treatment but still exhibit symptoms. ADHD cannot be diagnosed with a single test, and many other conditions, such as anxiety, depression, sleep troubles, and certain types of learning disabilities, can exhibit similar symptoms. A medical exam, including hearing and vision tests, is one step in the process. People with ADHD require effective strategies to manage their condition.
What Can be Done?
You may want to help your partner with ADHD to improve your relationship with them and not know where to start. You may feel that all your efforts are going in vain or making things difficult. Here are some ways to improve your relationship without belittling your partner or draining yourself.
Focus on Strengths
Instead of focusing on your partner’s weaknesses, amplify their strengths. Your partner may not have organization skills or may not be an expert planner. Still, they can be effective problem-solver and bring specific energy and spontaneity to your relationship. Partners with ADHD are experts in being calm during a crisis and very flexible, and these are great traits to be kept in a relationship.
Don’t be a Parent
Parenting your partner with ADHD is not a good call. It can sap your energy and make it more challenging to connect emotionally and physically. Parenting your partner can also make them feel controlled and create distance in your relationship. Instead of clearing their mess even before they make it, give them the space to sort things out independently. However, do not forget to offer your support.
When communicating with your partner with ADHD, use objective statements, such as ‘I feel…’ to help reduce the blow. Instead of criticizing your partner for their behavior, tell them how their actions make you feel. Schedule your time to discuss such issues instead of bringing them up abruptly, making one defensive.
It is very easy to blame rather than offer grace. Suppose your partner’s actions or behaviors are negatively impacting your relationship or causing you hardship. In that case, you should have an open and honest discussion about your expectations and how you can resolve these issues together.
Laughter is the best medicine. Learn to use laughter in petty situations. If your partner has forgotten to turn the car engine off, laugh about it but don’t offend them. Take it lightly. Laugh over unavoidable miscommunications and misunderstandings. However, to resolve serious issues, use effective communication.
Self-help needs self-motivation. If your partner is clearly exhibiting symptoms of ADHD but is reluctant to visit a healthcare professional, offer your support. Do not try to force them by pointing out the issues right there and stigmatizing the situation. Tell them a success story to initiate motivation.
Remember that ADHD is not you versus your partner with ADHD; it’s you and your partner versus the ADHD. Your partner is not the problem at hand; ADHD is. Separate your partner from their symptoms. Don’t label or judge them. Work through the disagreements together. Develop strategies to deal with ADHD. Listen to them and after telling them your feelings, ask them how your thoughts make them feel.
Develop a Routine
Schedule your daily tasks. This will help your partner and add structure to both your lives. You can also set up reminders such as alarm clocks, sticky notes, etc. Help your partner with ADHD to declutter their space as cluttering can be overwhelming for them.
You know that your partner has ADHD, but it can be challenging for you at times. However, try to avoid making assumptions and make an effort to understand them. If they forget your birthday, don’t hold it against them. Let it go. Try to let them know decently how their ADHD is affecting you. Help them understand you and see how you feel.
You can work together to build a healthy, respectful relationship if your partner’s behaviors aren’t hurting you or damaging the relationship. However, if your partner’s behaviors affect your mental health, it’s imperative to set boundaries and prioritize your needs. ADHD is likely to be part of your relationship, but it doesn’t have to be a negative factor. It is advised to get a diagnosis and treatment from a registered psychiatrist for your partner with ADHD. Although treatment can help improve ADHD symptoms, it will not cure them completely. Finding creative ways to support each other and improving communication can strengthen your relationship.
Book an appointment now, to answer all your queries. You can book an appointment with the top psychiatrists in Lahore through Marham by calling at Marham helpline: 0311-1222398 or by online booking facility through the website or Marham mobile app.
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1. Can ADHD remain undiagnosed?
Yes, if the symptoms are repressed, ADHD can remain undiagnosed.
2. Is having ADHD a bad thing?
Not at all. ADHD is a neurobehavioral problem. However, undiagnosed ADHD can cause disruptions in daily life.
3. Who treats an ADHD patient?
A psychiatrist with the collaboration of a psychologist can help to manage ADHD. However, keep in mind that ADHD can be managed but not cured.
4. Is ADHD a mental illness?
Yes, it is one of the most common mental health issues.